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Building a positive reservoir

Michael Hessdorf, LCSW

I have read that we remember and hold on to negative comments and experiences much more readily than we do to positive ones. We need to build up a reservoir of positive feelings to combat the destructive power of negative experiences. And of course, this holds especially true in our relationships. The zinger delivered to us by our partner can really sting and hurt. Therefore, I am going to make a strong attempt to say at least five positive things to my spouse before I utter a negative comment. I am going to take note as to how this works in our life together. I will do this for the next three weeks and observe how it plays out in our relationship. I believe at a minimum, it can do no harm, and I have a feeling that it could have a beneficial effect. We shall see.

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Grief Takes No Holidays

Dr. Ilona L. Tobin

For those experiencing sorrow, whether through death, separation, divorce, illness, job loss or relocation, the glittering commercialism and unrelenting cheer of the holiday season can be stressful. Facing family celebrations with an empty chair at the table can make unbearable grief so much worse, says Karen Silbert, MD, Associate Professor of Anesthesiology at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, who suffered the loss of her five-monthold daughter.

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Music: A Soothing Balm for Stress

Dr. Ilona L. Tobin

Most people have experienced the relaxing effect of music—from the soft strains of a flute playing in the background during a massage, to tuning out the world with your headphones during a grueling commute on public transit. With hectic schedules, busy families, financial pressures and life's many complications, stress can permeate every aspect of daily living. Whether you're experiencing more persistent stress or just looking to enjoy the many health benefits of increased relaxation, music can play an important role. It has the power to engage the body, mind and spirit and carry you into a more relaxed state. The Mind

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10 ways to change your life

Dr. Ilona L. Tobin

Too often we take care of other people's needs, shunning activities that have the most meaning for us. Here are 10 ways to take back your life. Create goals. Get clear on what you really want, write it down and start to take action toward your goals.

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Speaking Your Truth

Dr. Ilona L. Tobin

Heather, a baker for a catering company, began having issues with one of her co-workers after he bulldozed over her experience and capability in the kitchen. After her resentment had built up to a nearly unmanageable level, she called for a meeting, during which she explained to him how she was feeling.

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