Grief & Bereavement

Reviewed by Michael Callans, Master’s in Psychology · Last updated June 2026

What is grief?

Grief is the deep sorrow and range of reactions we feel after losing someone or something important. Bereavement refers specifically to the period of grief and mourning after a death, and mourning is the way we outwardly express that loss, shaped by culture, faith, and personal style. While the death of a loved one is the most familiar cause, grief can also follow other major losses, such as the end of a relationship, a serious illness or diagnosis, infertility or pregnancy loss, or the loss of a job, home, or sense of safety.

Grief is one of the most universal human experiences. Almost everyone will lose someone they love at some point, and the intensity of grief often reflects the depth of the bond. There is no single feeling that defines it. People can move between sorrow, numbness, anger, and even moments of relief or peace, sometimes within the same day, and all of these can be part of a healthy response to loss.

Grief is not a sign of weakness or something to be fixed. As the UK's National Health Service puts it, "There's no right or wrong way to feel" after a loss. It is a natural part of being human, and the goal is not to forget the person or the loss but to gradually adapt and carry it in a way that lets you keep living.

The National Cancer Institute, part of the National Institutes of Health, describes several forms grief can take. Anticipatory grief can begin before a death when a loss is expected, for example during a serious illness. Normal or common grief gradually eases as a person adjusts to life after the loss. Complicated or prolonged grief is more intense and lasts much longer, and it can benefit from professional support. Recognizing which kind you may be experiencing can help you know what to expect and when extra help might be useful.

What grief feels like

Grief affects the whole person, and reactions vary widely from one individual to the next. Common experiences include:

• Emotional: sadness, shock, numbness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, yearning, or even relief.
• Physical: fatigue, changes in appetite or sleep, tightness in the chest, nausea, a weakened immune response, or aches and pains.
• Cognitive: trouble concentrating, forgetfulness, disbelief, confusion, or preoccupation with the loss.
• Behavioral: crying, withdrawing from others, restlessness, trouble with everyday tasks, or avoiding reminders of the loss.

These feelings often come in waves, easing and returning, sometimes triggered by anniversaries, places, songs, or memories. The NHS notes that although grief can feel "chaotic and out of control," for most people these feelings gradually become less intense over time. The familiar "stages of grief," denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, are a helpful way to describe common reactions, not a checklist. People move through them in their own way and order, skip some, or revisit them, and there is nothing wrong with grieving differently from someone else.

Ways to cope

There is no way to rush grief, but some approaches can make it more bearable and help you support your own healing over time:

• Allow yourself to feel: grief takes the time it takes, and there is no need to "stay strong" or hide it for the sake of others. Naming what you feel can take some of its edge off.
• Lean on support: talk with people you trust, accept practical help, or join a bereavement support group where others understand what you are going through.
• Care for your body: try to keep up with sleep, food, movement, and routine, even in small ways, since grief is physically draining.
• Mark the loss: rituals, photos, writing, and ways of honoring the person or what you lost can give grief somewhere to go.
• Go easy on coping that backfires: leaning heavily on alcohol or drugs tends to make grief harder, not easier.
• Be patient with yourself: grief is not linear, and difficult days, even much later, do not mean you are failing or going backward.

How to support someone who is grieving

If someone you care about is grieving, you do not need the perfect words. Often the most helpful thing is simply showing up. Acknowledge the loss rather than avoiding it, say the person's name, and let your friend talk (or sit in silence) without trying to fix their pain or rush them toward "moving on." Offer specific, practical help, such as bringing a meal, running an errand, or handling a chore, rather than a vague "let me know if you need anything." Keep checking in over the weeks and months after the funeral, when other support often fades but the grief is still raw, and remember anniversaries and birthdays, which can be especially hard.

When grief becomes complicated

For most people, the sharp pain of grief gradually softens over time, even though the loss is always felt. For some, grief stays intense, constant, and disabling well beyond the early months. Mental health professionals now recognize this as prolonged grief disorder, sometimes called complicated grief. Signs include an inability to accept the loss, persistent intense longing or preoccupation with the person who died, deep emotional pain, withdrawal from life, numbness, or feeling that life has lost its meaning, lasting for many months and far beyond what is expected given social and cultural norms. The NHS suggests speaking with a GP if grief is still severe many months on, for example if you cannot carry out normal activities or feel life is not worth living.

Grief can also overlap with, or develop into, depression or anxiety, which are treatable conditions. A clinician can help tell ordinary grief apart from depression or prolonged grief disorder, and grief-focused therapy can help when grief gets stuck.

When to seek help

Consider reaching out to a doctor or mental health professional if grief feels overwhelming for a long time, keeps you from daily functioning many months after the loss, leads to heavy use of alcohol or drugs, or brings thoughts of harming yourself. Seeking support is not a sign that you are grieving "wrong," and it does not mean you are betraying the person you lost. Talking therapies, support groups, and, where needed, treatment for depression can all help. If you have thoughts of suicide, get help right away: in the US, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline any time, or call 911 if you are in immediate danger.

Frequently asked questions

Related conditions

• DepressionCan overlap with grief
• AnxietyCommon after loss
• PTSDAfter traumatic loss

Therapists who specialize in grief and bereavement

Connect with a licensed therapist on Psychology.com who works with grief and bereavement.

• A FAMILY MATTERFlorence, Alabama
• Advance Thru Psychotherapy and Family DevelopmentLawrenceville, New Jersey
• Amy KellerPasadena, California
• Anne CiotaLeominster, Massachusetts
• Arlyn P. Stern LCSWSkokie, Illinois
• Asktheinternettherapist.comScottsdale, Arizona

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References

• National Health Service (NHS). Get help with grief after bereavement or loss.
• National Cancer Institute (NIH). Grief, Bereavement, and Loss (PDQ) - Patient Version.
• National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Depression.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Free, confidential 24/7 support.