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The Key of Connection

by Sandra Lee Blood, MA, LCPC

Connection is the reward of relationships. Once called intimacy, connection is simply the emotional depth on which people relate. One of our deepest needs as human beings is to know and be known. The extent to which this occurs in your relationships can greatly affect your sense of well-being.

Many things prevent connection: unintentional drift through busyness and commitments; avoidance due to the fear of getting too close; inability or lack of desire to resolve conflicts that arise; prior unresolved hurtful relationships; lack of empathy; feeling unsafe, particularly if previous disclosures are brought up as weapons in a later conversation; to name a few.

Difficulties in relationships are normal. If occasional disagreements don’t arise between people, someone is likely holding back to keep the peace. So, as with many things, it isn’t that problems come up, it’s how they are dealt with. For instance, one of the cardinal rules in therapy is if there is anger in the room, there is no point in talking about anything else until the anger is resolved because it won’t be heard. Many people don’t view a break in connection as motivation to resolve an argument. But something precious has been lost.

Sometimes people need to be interpreted to each other. Folks get stuck and the impasse seems impossible to navigate. Enter the therapist. When a therapist can listen to both sides objectively, s/he can phrase things in a different light or find common ground. Conflict resolution can be taught. A sense of connection restored. And that is, as they say, priceless.

Sandra Lee Blood is licensed professional counselor with offices in Naperville and Lake Zurich, Illinois. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory

4 Responses to “The Key of Connection”

  1. Zik Henry Says:

    Many thanks for the above comments.Relationship can be good depending on the paremeter on which one understand eachother.Key points to adhere to are truth, openness ,forgiveness,thouthfulness and kindness.Relationship can be strained when onew goes against nature thus spring of disaster images.True connection has drop of fear or distrust.But to be frank most friends are nutured on selfish grounds.

  2. farouk Says:

    i believe that intimacy is an essential ingredient for successful relationships, since the affection phase fades away as the time passes

  3. Renet cloette Says:

    relationshios are the most fragile things I know. u have to narture and handle them with care, too much of everything can spoil or break it, like too much load. when you miss a person too much, its not good cos it breaks your heart, evrything breaks with love.

  4. Fritz Canatella Says:

    Great site. Gives me the motivation to lose weight this year. I hate being fat lol

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